Allow me to pose a small query: In life, what is better than a refreshing, ice-cold Coconut Water on a hot, sticky day that causes you to sweat in places you didn’t know you could sweat?
You may be tempted to say, “Why, literally nothing, Remington! NOTHING is better than a refreshing, ice-cold Coconut Water on a hot, sticky day that causes me to sweat in places I didn’t know I could sweat!”
But, you would be wrong. Actually, you’re wrong a lot. But that’s okay. That’s why you’re here. And that's why I'm here. I’m your Culinary Sherpa, guiding you through the Himalayas of your kitchen.
If someone could get that embroidered on an apron for me, I’d soops appreciate it. THX.
Back to the answer you’re now dying to know: Coconut Water WITH vodka! That’s right. I said it. That’s legally the only thing better. Legally. So, you know it’s true because it’s legal.
And just so you're convinced, remember when you were in college and you thought it was such a smart idea to add McCormick’s Vodka to Gatorade? You would say, “It’s delicious AND it’s hydrating me with electrolytes, OMG I’m so smart.” Well, you weren’t. That was actually really stupid. But this isn’t. You’re welcome.
Also, stop buying McCormick’s, Josie-Grossy. It's the nineties.
Coconut Water Cocktail
C2O Coconut Water
1 Ounce Tito’s Vodka
¼ Cup Chopped Pineapple
In a pint glass, muddle the pineapple with a shot of vodka. You can use a different fruit or vodka other than Tito's but, don’t be surprised if it sucks and all your friends unfollow you on Instagram. I don’t make the rules.
Top off with Coconut Water (Preferably C2O Brand because reference the sentence 2 lines back) and mix. Mix it right, mix it good just like you should. No one wants all the vodka in one sip. Unless you do. Then, koo-doze for you.
Enjoy responsibly, FOLKS!