Garlic & Parsley Mashed Cauliflower

I love delicious food. It’s not a secret. I'm not ashamed. If I didn’t, I would still weigh 135 pounds. Like I did in college. And I don’t miss that at all. I love my lady lumps. They are a part of me. They make me like Fergie and Beyonce but white and with better hair.


Whatever. I really just love delicious food, especially when it’s not as sinful as it tastes.

This is a take on several recipes I’ve tried. I now pronounce the winner: This recipe.

Try it. You’ll love it. Lurve it, even. Just don't fall in love with me cause that could get messy. image

Garlic and Parsley Mashed Cauliflower

1 Head of Cauliflower

1 Bay Leaf

2 Cloves Garlic, whole

2 Tbsp. Extra-Virgin Olive Oil

1 Cup Grated Swiss Cheese

¼ Cup Parsley, chopped

Remove the florets from the head of cauliflower and separate them into individual pieces, as much as you can. Throw them in a pot with the a bay leaf, oil, and garlic and cover with water. Don’t be tricked, the florets will float. Just make sure you have enough water to not evaporate out and leave you high and dry.

Pun intended.

Season the water with a little salt and pepper and bring to a boil, covered for about 20 minutes, or until the cauliflower is tender. When you’re satisfied with the tenderness of the cauli’, drain the mixture really good and remove the bay leaf.

You’re going to want to drain it super good or the “mash” will be kinda soupy. NO ONE LIKES A SOUPY MASH.

Run the cauliflower through a food processor with the garlic cloves mixed in. When you remove the lid from your food processor, prepare for a heavenly smell. It’s like Jesus’ armpits, I bet. So holy.

Transfer back to the soup pot or a kitchen-aid mixer bowl and mix in the cheese and parsley. At this point, take a little taste test and add salt & pepper as necessary.

If you’re feeling adventurous, fill green bell pepper halves with the mash and grill until the pepper is tender. I swear to you, it’s my new favorite thing.

Happy Eatings!