Slow Cooker BBQ Pulled Chicken

So, remember how your grocery store had chicken legs on sale for $3.90 for a 10 pound bag? And remember how you typically cook for two people and two people can’t typically eat 10 pounds of chicken legs in one sitting? And remember how much we love BBQ but hate smelling like a BBQ pit mixed with armpit sweat and day old butter?

What about crock pots? Remember how much we love them because you turn them on and go about your day of fabulousness/Netflix/hair brushing/farting around the house?

GREAT! I knew you would remember all of these lovely, lady-like things.

You see, the average Sins of the Palate reader has all of these personal experiences in common with me. That’s why we get along so swell.

Stop lying to yourself.  

This recipe will thoroughly change your life. Why? Because you basically have everything on-hand already and when you get home from your dumb job, all you have to do is put on some sweatpants (or Joey’s Thanksgiving pants) and eat your big ole’ heart out while you watch Kerry Washington be a hardcore gladiator in heels and make you feel useless with your life.

Seriously, you can just set the crock pot in your lap and go at it with a fork if you want to. You'll probably need to find a position that will look as pathetic as you feel compared to Kerry. Heck, you might even leave out the fork if you have a high heat tolerance in your little butterfly baby angel fingertips. Slow Cooker BBQ Pulled Chicken

Slow Cooker BBQ  Pulled Chicken

Whole Chicken Breasts or Thighs

BBQ Sauce

2 Tablespoons Ketchup

2 Tablespoons Spicy Brown Mustard

2 Tablespoons Worchester Sauce

2 Teaspoons Liquid Smoke

Paprika, to taste

Cayenne Pepper, to taste

1 Teaspoon Black Pepper

1 Teaspoon Chili Powder

1 Teaspoon Cardamom

1 Teaspoon Coriander

In a large bowl, mix together the seasonings with the BBQ Sauce, Ketchup, Mustard, Worchester and Liquid Smoke.

Layer your chosen chicken in the crock pot and pour the mixture over it. Depending on what time of day you want to eat, adjust the setting accordingly. I cooked mine for 10 hours and it shredded apart like iceberg lettuce. Yes, it was that sexy.

This works equally well with boneless, skinless chicken breasts. It just takes a little less cooking-time, actually. However, if you’re like me and used bone-in, just make sure you get the bones out whenever you're ready to eat. I mean, if you swallow a small bone, it won’t poke a hole in your stomach or turn you into a chicken, unlike I may or may not have believed as a child.

But try to not be stupid and swallow any large, obtrusive bones. You’re not a dinosaur. Or a dog.

This is so terrrrrrrr-iffic, I’ll take Starbucks gift cards via email as a sign of your gratitude for this recipe!