Through my personal, extensive and scientific research, I have deducted that eating this cake will not make you lose weight. In fact, it is also not negative calories. So, that is unfortunate. What was my method of research? I weighed. I ate cake. I weighed again. The second number was bigger. I just don’t understand. It’s a cruel world, y'all.
So, while we mournfully accept that eating cake will not cause massive weight loss, we can choose to focus on the positives.
- Eating delicious cake makes you happy.
- Eating tasty cake makes those around you less annoying.
- Eating yummy cake makes you a nicer person.
- People like when you eat scrumptious cake and become nicer.
This cake recipe was inspired by Autumn and a desire to have cake waiting for me on my kitchen counter. That’s not lame. If you think that’s lame, then I think YOU’RE lame. How’s that feel?
½ Cup Cornmeal
1½ Cup All-Purpose Flour
¾ Cup Sugar
1 Tablespoon Baking Powder
1 Teaspoon Ground Cinnamon
1 Teaspoon Ground Cloves
¼ Teaspoon Salt
2 Large Eggs
½ Cup Vegetable Oil
1½ Cup Milk
1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract
Maple Buttercream Frosting
2 Packages Cream Cheese, softened
1 Stick Unsalted Butter, softened
½ Cup Maple Syrup
2-3 Cups Powdered Sugar
Toasted Almond Pieces & Fresh Blueberries, for garnish
In a large bowl, whisk together the dry ingredients. Next, add the liquids and eggs and mix until all of your ingredients until they are just so incredibly mixed so hard.
Spray your cake pans with non-stick spray and dust them with corn meal. I only used one, 9 inch cake pan but you can split the batter into 2 if that makes you feel glamorous.
Bake at 350 until the cake is golden and delicious on top. If you’re using one pan, about 35-40 minutes. If you are using two, about 25-30 minutes. Check them often and when in doubt: tooth-pick test. Bam.
Let the cake cool completely before removing from the pans and icing. After much trial and error, I have determined this to be the very best way. You're welcome. Please feel free to not call me Cake Boss. I prefer, Princess Buttercup.
Next, let us begin on the frosting.
It is best to let the butter and cream cheese sit out while the cake is in the oven. But, if you have to, zap them in the microwave to get soft enough to work with. When they are soft, whip them with a mixer until they are well combined and creamy as heck.
Pour in the maple syrup and repeat. Mix well so that there are no clumps and add one cup of powdered sugar at a time until you get the desired consistency. I like a little thicker frosting so, I add a little more powdered sugar. When you have enough, whip the frosting on high for about 2-3 minutes so it is super smooth.
Garnish the cake with toasted almonds and blueberries and watch as all of your troubles just kind of melt away. Like buttercream frosting. In your mouth.
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