TexItalian Chopped Salad

I honestly don’t remember where this salad came from. I know it has an origin. I know it blesses multitudes in a way that is comparable to the loaves and fishes. I just don’t know who started it.

We had this a lot as a kid and doing what I do, I’ve jazzed it up just a teensy bit since then. It is so good and so un-boring. Because let’s face it, your salad is boring. Everyone hates you for it. Literally, churches around the globe are having potlucks to discuss how boring your salad is. And guess what? They aren’t inviting you. Because of the aforementioned boring salad.

Like, your salad is:

And this salad is:


Let me just do you a favor and help you change your ways. I'll take gifts of gratitude in the form of and generally limited to: Starbucks Gift Cards, Red Wine, Monetary Gifts, Shiny Things.  

TexItalian Chopped Salad

TexItalian Chopped Salad

1 Package of Hormel Pepperoni

Spring Salad Mix

1 Large Tomato

½ Large Cucumber

4-5 Sweet Mini Peppers, sliced

Small Can Sliced or Minced Black Olives, drained

½ Purple Onion

Mozzarella Cheese

Start by arranging all your pepperoni in a single layer on a microwaveable plate covered in two or three layers of paper towels. In about 30 second intervals, microwave them until they are dried enough to smash up easily. As you’ll see, a TON of grease is going to come out and you will feel so healthy and mature like a grownup who cares about not dying an early death due to heart failure. Isn’t that cute? One of my faves.

Dice all your veggies and combine them on top of your lettuce in a large, fancy bowl. I like to peel the cucumber. Up to you and your level of dedication.

Once your pepperoni is dry enough to crunch up, put it in a plastic baggy and go to town. Pour them on top of the salad along with the black olives and top with Mozzarella Cheese and let the fanciness commence!

I like this with Italian dressing or a Balsamic Vinaigrette but you know…go nuts.