Pulled Beef Brisket

Brisket is a magical thing given to us by Baby Jesus in a Tuxedo T-shirt. Why? Because he’s classy. And because he loves us. And he knows how to party. However, some of us aren’t loved enough to have a full, BA smoker. So, we have to resort to a slow cooker.

Lucky for you, I’ve created a mother trucking delicious recipe.

But, beware: it’s so good that you might want to slap someone next to you. But don’t. Apparently that's frowned upon in the Continental U.S.

Pulled Beef Brisket

Pulled Beef Brisket

Market Trimmed Brisket

6 Cups Strong Black Coffee

1 Cup Ketchup

½ Cup Brown Mustard

½ Cup Brown Sugar

2 Tablespoons Garlic Powder

Cayenne Pepper, to taste

1 Can Coca-Cola

Worcestershire Sauce, to taste (That was like, so hard to spell)

Liquid Smoke, to taste


If needed, cut up your rinsed and dried brisket so that it will fit into your slow cooker. Cover it with your strong black coffee and let it cook for about 24 hours. This is a really good recipe to start the night before and have dinner waiting for you, smelling sexually delicious.

Stir it once in a while throughout the day and one hour before, add the rest of your ingredients. By now, the meat should be falling apart at the very touch. And this should make you very happy.

If needed, use two forks to thoroughly separate all the meat and/or cut it up with a couple of knives.

This is great with some Sweet Baby Ray’s BBQ Sauce or in some pulled brisket tacos!